Balance

Today is a test of balance. The balance between what is necessary in life and what we would like to do.

It is of course the Friday before Memorial weekend. We have a very busy weekend scheduled. We have a rodeo tonight in Panguitch, tomorrow in Nephi and then Saturday and Sunday in Panguitch.

I have a lot of time off coming up for horse shows and rodeos. I was originally scheduled off for today. Then Racheal decided not to enter the rodeo tonight and just go the rest of the weekend. It is the last day of school for her freshman year. So I decided to work today and stay home with her tonight. We have a big project at work with the launch of a new product. There are a ton of things left to do and it releases in a couple of weeks.

Brent is up in the rodeo tonight. He went with his dad today. I know my kids rodeo a lot and I will continue to get to see them rodeo, but I still struggle with not being there for every single one. Every time I miss one I think what if they do something really great tonight and I am not there. My logical side says they will be fine and it is good for them to be independent. My emotional side worries that they think I don't care enough to make the time to go.

I know that work is necessary. It is what allows us to spend all the time doing what we love to do. I am very fortunate that company has provided a stable and decent income for the last several years. I am also fortunate that I have the flexibility to go to major events with the kids. Some days, I would just like to not be obligated to work and be able to focus full time on my kids.

I think this is a constant struggle for mothers who also have a career. I love my career but hate it when it interferes with my family.