How much is too much or not enough?

On Saturday July 7th , we picked up my niece and nephew in Price. They are my brother's children from his second marriage. Due to drug and alcohol abuse, they spent a year in foster care away from their mother and his rights have been terminated. So to say the least they have had a rough time.

Their current situation is not any better. They live with their mom. She has 3 kids, is not married and no child support. Don't get me wrong I know mom's who do this but not this one. She spends money on cigarrettes and things other than what the children really need. For example, she has enough money to smoke but not pay the propane bill so her kids can have hot running water.

I don't feel sorry for her. She choose to get pregnant with 3 different guys all out of wedlock. She chooses to use drugs and alcohol. If she truly was dedicated to those kids, then I would not think twice about helping her and the kids.

We tried to get custody of the kids a couple of years ago. However, the laws in the State of Utah are stupid. A mother can use meth while she is pregnant and still keep her kids. I think she should go to jail for life.

So we do what we can for the kids as often as we can. I send them things they can use like socks, toothpaste, paper for school and other usable things. I never send money but she would waste. I try to have them stay with us a few times a year. This time we had them for a week.

Here is where the difficulty comes. I see bringing them here as providing a refuge to them. They actually get to bath and as my nephew puts it "eat real food". My kids try to be tolerant of that but after a few days they want their lives back. I know that my kids care but I wish they would be a little more giving and perhaps they wish I wasn't. So the real question is how much is too much or not enough?

Finding balance in life and family is really tough. I know that there are no right answers. We just have to do the best we all know how.